"Get this guy some water."
It was a short debate whether I'd tell you how this all came about or not. I'm not going to.
Water. I was sweating profusely, my eyes had absolutely color left in them. The blood had left my face, leaving it a pale grey.
Someone came in with a whole jug of water. It felt like the more I drank of it, the more I immediately began to sweat and found myself in the restroom.
I don't want anyone else to ever go through what I went through. It all had started a few hours earlier. It seemed like everyone I knew had ended up at this concert I still can't remember the name of.
Like I said before, I'd given up, fallen into a fit of depression, and gone back to drugs and partying. Tonight was no exception. Someone else had paid for my ticket and I went along with it.
"Kiss me!"
"What? Why?"
"Just do it!"
"Okay!" My entire face felt like whatever a light bulb must feel like when someone flipped the light switch.
"What was that?"
"Cocaine!"
It was some techno band. They're stage was set up with a bunch of screens for projectors, a laser show, and they played on what looked like it was a MIDI pad in the shape of a UFO.
At some point, the floor had dropped from beneath me. I found myself swimming across a swimming pool of linoleum, trying to find something. I wound up at an ATM. I withdrew some money, and went to buy a bottle of water.
I realized I hadn't actually withdrawn any money, so I went to the bathroom. After the bathroom stall expanded to the size of a king-size bedroom I decided I ought to find whoever I'd came with.
On the concert floor, the show had really picked up. I watched the interesting designs on the projector screens when suddenly it felt like something snapped inside my head.
Cold rushed over my scalp, then hot, then cold again over one side, and hot over another.
I was looking at whatever on Earth I was watching while I started to see something else not on Earth.
In summary, I saw everything. Just go along with it, enjoy the show. Just enjoy the show. Asking yourself what's happening right now is not going to do you ANY favors, I told myself.
I saw the stars and planets. I saw the water in the oceans form into mists in the clouds and fall back to the earth. I saw the food chain, I saw every river in the world. I saw string theory, I saw relativity. I saw the beginnings in the garden of Eden, I saw the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I saw Adam and Eve, I saw David and Goliath. I saw the Heavens, I saw the sky, I saw the depths of the ocean. I saw creatures, people, plants, and stars be born and die.
I saw every moment of my life I'd seen before, all while I watched people dance around me.
I saw a white, brilliant light every time I closed my eyes. I saw utter darkness.
"Who needs a cigarette?!"
Me! I wanted to say, but it came out differently. "Ah yah!"
The outside of the building had a fenced off area where people could step out for a smoke without losing access to the venue. I watched all the people I knew and didn't know around me, talking, hugging, laughing, smoking, and realized how ridiculous my anxiety was.
It was like I was suddenly able to see through my eyes through a different pair of eyes.
As the night progress I remembered less and less. Soon it was time to leave.
"Do you need water, man? You're sweating like crazy."
Now we're back to where we started.
After seeing the cyclic nature of everything, I had felt like I had seen religion explained with math. It didn't make any sense, but I understood it. I didn't question it because I knew that if I did I'd question my own sanctity into oblivion.
I watched the water flow through the rivers into the ocean to the clouds and back to land and through the soil to the river and so forth as I drank the water I'd been given and immediately continued sweating and urinating.
I accepted the fact that I could very easily die.
I was nominated for some reason to retrieve a pipe from the friend's house I was staying at. I didn't have the mental capacity at the time. I was too busy discovering the secrets of the universe.
"Just go in and grab the thing," they told me, except they didn't say thing.
I knew what I was looking for, but was also very aware that the moment I left the car I'd forget completely.
I went inside, changed my clothes, and threw an apple, an onion, and a banana in two shopping bags and returned to the car.
"Did you get it?"
"Uh-huh," I said. There was no way I would've been able to get it. While on the universal scale the entire world and all of history made sense, the immediate reality had become nothing but abstract qualities.
After realizing what had happened, somebody else went back for the thing.
The party was over what felt like a lifetime later.
When we returned home, I'd never felt such all-encompassing fear.
Nothing made sense. Everything I looked at was an immediately inexplicable combination of color, texture, mass, volume, and so on; understanding anything required detailed analysis, serious thought and calculation.
Disney movies. I desperately sought a safe escape from this new reality I was faced with. I started watching The Fox and The Hound.
Several minutes in I had never been more scared in my entire life. I could hear, I could see, and I could think. The only thing I couldn't do was understand what anyone or anything was saying. I couldn't even comprehend my own thoughts.
I laid watching Disney movies until the sun rose with subtitles on. If I didn't have the subtitles, I couldn't make any sense of the words I was hearing. It felt like all rational had been torn from me.
I tried getting high, and it didn't help at all. My vision trailed and frightened me.
I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and looked out the window to the rising sun.
I'm not going to tell you what I saw, because you wouldn't believe me.
As the sun and the heavens and all of the world around me sank into algebraic hieroglyphs in a 3D-grid of a landscape, a voice echoed inside my head.
You've seen it all now. Do you want to go further?
I prayed that I might not go any further because I didn't want to leave the world.
I didn't pray to God, I just prayed. It was wrong, so please, God, Christ, Jesus, forgive me.
I don't know what happened next.
Next
It was a short debate whether I'd tell you how this all came about or not. I'm not going to.
Water. I was sweating profusely, my eyes had absolutely color left in them. The blood had left my face, leaving it a pale grey.
Someone came in with a whole jug of water. It felt like the more I drank of it, the more I immediately began to sweat and found myself in the restroom.
I don't want anyone else to ever go through what I went through. It all had started a few hours earlier. It seemed like everyone I knew had ended up at this concert I still can't remember the name of.
Like I said before, I'd given up, fallen into a fit of depression, and gone back to drugs and partying. Tonight was no exception. Someone else had paid for my ticket and I went along with it.
"Kiss me!"
"What? Why?"
"Just do it!"
"Okay!" My entire face felt like whatever a light bulb must feel like when someone flipped the light switch.
"What was that?"
"Cocaine!"
It was some techno band. They're stage was set up with a bunch of screens for projectors, a laser show, and they played on what looked like it was a MIDI pad in the shape of a UFO.
At some point, the floor had dropped from beneath me. I found myself swimming across a swimming pool of linoleum, trying to find something. I wound up at an ATM. I withdrew some money, and went to buy a bottle of water.
I realized I hadn't actually withdrawn any money, so I went to the bathroom. After the bathroom stall expanded to the size of a king-size bedroom I decided I ought to find whoever I'd came with.
On the concert floor, the show had really picked up. I watched the interesting designs on the projector screens when suddenly it felt like something snapped inside my head.
Cold rushed over my scalp, then hot, then cold again over one side, and hot over another.
I was looking at whatever on Earth I was watching while I started to see something else not on Earth.
In summary, I saw everything. Just go along with it, enjoy the show. Just enjoy the show. Asking yourself what's happening right now is not going to do you ANY favors, I told myself.
I saw the stars and planets. I saw the water in the oceans form into mists in the clouds and fall back to the earth. I saw the food chain, I saw every river in the world. I saw string theory, I saw relativity. I saw the beginnings in the garden of Eden, I saw the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I saw Adam and Eve, I saw David and Goliath. I saw the Heavens, I saw the sky, I saw the depths of the ocean. I saw creatures, people, plants, and stars be born and die.
I saw every moment of my life I'd seen before, all while I watched people dance around me.
I saw a white, brilliant light every time I closed my eyes. I saw utter darkness.
"Who needs a cigarette?!"
Me! I wanted to say, but it came out differently. "Ah yah!"
The outside of the building had a fenced off area where people could step out for a smoke without losing access to the venue. I watched all the people I knew and didn't know around me, talking, hugging, laughing, smoking, and realized how ridiculous my anxiety was.
It was like I was suddenly able to see through my eyes through a different pair of eyes.
As the night progress I remembered less and less. Soon it was time to leave.
"Do you need water, man? You're sweating like crazy."
Now we're back to where we started.
After seeing the cyclic nature of everything, I had felt like I had seen religion explained with math. It didn't make any sense, but I understood it. I didn't question it because I knew that if I did I'd question my own sanctity into oblivion.
I watched the water flow through the rivers into the ocean to the clouds and back to land and through the soil to the river and so forth as I drank the water I'd been given and immediately continued sweating and urinating.
I accepted the fact that I could very easily die.
I was nominated for some reason to retrieve a pipe from the friend's house I was staying at. I didn't have the mental capacity at the time. I was too busy discovering the secrets of the universe.
"Just go in and grab the thing," they told me, except they didn't say thing.
I knew what I was looking for, but was also very aware that the moment I left the car I'd forget completely.
I went inside, changed my clothes, and threw an apple, an onion, and a banana in two shopping bags and returned to the car.
"Did you get it?"
"Uh-huh," I said. There was no way I would've been able to get it. While on the universal scale the entire world and all of history made sense, the immediate reality had become nothing but abstract qualities.
After realizing what had happened, somebody else went back for the thing.
The party was over what felt like a lifetime later.
When we returned home, I'd never felt such all-encompassing fear.
Nothing made sense. Everything I looked at was an immediately inexplicable combination of color, texture, mass, volume, and so on; understanding anything required detailed analysis, serious thought and calculation.
Disney movies. I desperately sought a safe escape from this new reality I was faced with. I started watching The Fox and The Hound.
Several minutes in I had never been more scared in my entire life. I could hear, I could see, and I could think. The only thing I couldn't do was understand what anyone or anything was saying. I couldn't even comprehend my own thoughts.
I laid watching Disney movies until the sun rose with subtitles on. If I didn't have the subtitles, I couldn't make any sense of the words I was hearing. It felt like all rational had been torn from me.
I tried getting high, and it didn't help at all. My vision trailed and frightened me.
I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and looked out the window to the rising sun.
I'm not going to tell you what I saw, because you wouldn't believe me.
As the sun and the heavens and all of the world around me sank into algebraic hieroglyphs in a 3D-grid of a landscape, a voice echoed inside my head.
You've seen it all now. Do you want to go further?
I prayed that I might not go any further because I didn't want to leave the world.
I didn't pray to God, I just prayed. It was wrong, so please, God, Christ, Jesus, forgive me.
I don't know what happened next.
Next
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