It's like snowflakes, or at least,
at first it's like snowflakes.
Tiny things,
here and there.
Careful, slowly falling,
you can look all around,
and
if you didn't know better,
you might think it would be
Impossible, that,
one day, your entire world would be engulfed.
Like snowflakes,
crisp, light, like falling stars,
you begin imagine
all of the possibilities
all the things you might do
all that might be to come
all of the memories that they now remind you of.
Like snowflakes,
you think of things you've built,
things you've constructed when you were very small,
dances on ice,
warm laughter,
celebration,
angels,
family, love, hope, and grace.
Like snowflakes,
you can't see where exactly they've come from,
but,
you're sure that you know,
and that it's nothing to worry about.
Like snowflakes,
slowly,
there's more and more of them.
They cover your face,
sending chills down your spine.
They give you cold feet.
As it covers all that is around you, lightly,
softly,
it seems as if the whole world shines a little brighter.
Even the nights don't seem so dark anymore.
You dream of fantasies,
stories you've been told,
impossible things that for now,
you begin to believe,
because they don't seem so impossible any more.
Like snowflakes,
it's almost as if it brings families closer.
As if hearts become warmer,
celebration is warranted,
as if all of nature has bowed before it's coming.
Which would surely mean it's meant to be, right?
Like snowflakes,
sometimes there is simply too much,
now everything's become damp and heavy under it.
Somehow, your breath has gone cold,
your chest now feels heavy,
and it doesn't feel like you can build those little, happy, things anymore.
It doesn't feel like you should lay down,
like you should dance,
because it feels like you should be searching for a fire.
For something warm,
something familiar,
because even though this seemed so beautiful, now it seems more foreboding.
Threatening.
Like snowflakes,
while at first it was beautiful, now it feels like you might be in danger if you aren't safe.
Like snowflakes,
if you keep breathing them in,
you might find yourself not breathing anymore if you continue to breathe them.
Like snowflakes,
it's as if it now blows through you,
leaving you cold and powerless.
Frozen, helpless,
and while the night's all still seem a little
brighter,
now it's simply that you can see a little farther.
Now, like snowflakes,
you're worried it might never end,
like it's power over you might be your demise,
like you might never escape,
because as far as you can see it's covered your entire world,
and it's done nothing but make you think of happy things,
until now,
because now, it's done nothing but make you feel cold,
freezing, showing you no end in sight,
leaving you still, stiff, and blue,
seeking a flame that you may never find.
Your family now seems so far away,
because it's driven them all away to their own homes,
driven them away from you,
it's driven everyone apart.
You felt it promised it'd do the opposite,
but instead,
it took those promises and turned them back on you.
Like snowflakes, as if it was some real,
living, decisive entity,
coming in disguise as beautiful fallen stars,
showing you that once it's taken hold of your world it's here to leave you frozen,
blue and hopeless.
It's love, and like snowflakes, it feels inevitably close.
25 October 2017
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